The Secret Struggle: Why Binge Eating Disorder Often Goes Untreated
It often starts in silence.
Eating more than you meant to, then promising yourself you’ll do better tomorrow. Then it escalates to planned binge shopping, secret eating. Hiding wrappers. Deleting takeaway histories. You feel out of control, you feel disconnected, never able to be present. In constant comparison to others. You’re standing in your kitchen in the glow of the fridge light, hoping this time the food will help you feel better.
And when it doesn’t?
Shame.
Self-blame.
And a quiet decision to try harder, be better, have more willpower.
If this sounds familiar, please know: you are not alone.
As a therapist who works closely with people who struggle with Binge Eating Disorder (BED), I want to speak to the parts of you that are exhausted, ashamed, and scared to ask for help.
Because while BED is the most common eating disorder, it’s also the most overlooked.
Not because it isn’t serious.
Not because it isn’t painful.
But because so many people are deeply convinced it’s their fault.
Why So Many People Suffer in Silence
Many of the clients I work with have lived with binge eating for years before ever speaking a word of it out loud. Some didn’t even know it had a name. Others feared they’d be judged for “not trying hard enough.”
The world we live in reinforces this silence.
You might have been told your weight is the problem, or that you just need more control. You might have learned to dismiss your needs, to disconnect from your body, to feel unworthy of care, like somehow you are wasting everyone’s time, you should just get a grip of yourself.
And because BED often doesn’t “look” like the stereotype of an eating disorder, it gets dismissed, by friends, family, even some professionals.
What’s Really Going On
Binge eating is never about greed.
It’s a coping strategy. A survival response.
Something you learned to reach for when emotions felt too big, too painful, or too unsafe to process.
Maybe you were praised for being the “easy one” who didn’t make a fuss.
Maybe food was your comfort, your escape, your only form of self-soothing.
Maybe now you feel completely stuck, cycling between restriction and bingeing, caught in self-criticism, always planning your next “fresh start.”
What Healing Can Look Like
I’ll be honest with you: there is no quick fix.
But there is a path forward, and you don’t have to walk it alone. If I could go back to my younger self I would say “you’ve been alone for too long, you aren’t meant to heal by yourself, ask for support, you need someone to walk beside you, someone who gets it”
When I work with clients using evidence-based CBT-e for BED, we move through four key stages:
Understanding what’s keeping the binge cycle in place
Building regular eating habits and identifying patterns
Exploring body image, emotional triggers, and self-worth - this is where we get to understand your “why”
Creating long-term strategies to stay well and recover sustainably
This isn’t about control. It’s about compassionate reconnection, to your body, your needs, your feelings. You can find out more about CBT-e here
I believe healing is possible. (I know it is, I’ve done it)
Not through shame or control or “starting again on Monday.” But through curiosity. Kindness. Gentle structure.
I work slowly and intentionally, spending the first 6–8 weeks helping you build solid foundations, like regular eating and understanding your patterns.
From there, we explore the emotional roots, the self-worth wounds, the pain that food has tried to hold.
Binge Eating Disorder is real. It is serious. And it deserves the same compassion and care we would offer any other illness.
I’m not here to “fix” you. I’m here to walk beside you while you find your way home to yourself.
You Deserve Help That Sees the Whole of You
If you’ve been living with binge eating in secret, I want you to know:
You are not broken.
You are not weak.
And you don’t have to “get worse” before you’re allowed to get help.
This struggle has taken up enough of your time, energy, and self-worth.
You’re allowed to step toward support now.
If you’d like to know more about how I work or whether CBT-e might be right for you, please feel free to get in touch here.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Don’t wait another 5 years because you’re too embarrassed to get help, you deserve to feel better, you matter.
Julie x
