“Living Under the Gaze of Your Own Reflection”

You wake up, hand instinctively reaching to your stomach before you’ve even opened your eyes.

Getting dressed, you turn sideways in the mirror. You check again in the hallway mirror before leaving. Then in the shop window on the way to work.

You spot your reflection in the kettle, in your phone camera, in the glass of the bus stop.

Sometimes you like what you see. Sometimes you don’t. But either way, the checking keeps happening, often without you even realising.

Why we do it

Body checking can feel like a way to get reassurance, “Do I still look okay? Has anything changed?”

It can also be about control, self-monitoring, or an attempt to prepare for how others might see us.

The trouble is, the more we check, the more aware we become of every perceived “flaw” and the more those thoughts take over. The relief from checking is short-lived, but the self-criticism it fuels can last all day.

The quiet cost of constant checking

On the surface, body checking might seem harmless, just a glance here, a pinch there. But it can chip away at our wellbeing in ways we don’t always notice:

• It reinforces the idea that our worth is tied to appearance.
  
  

• It makes small fluctuations (which are normal!) feel like emergencies.
  
  

• It pulls our attention away from living, conversations, work, play, rest.
  
  

• It can increase anxiety and dissatisfaction over time.
  
  

You might also find yourself avoiding certain situations altogether….swimming, eating out, having your photo taken, because you’re already anticipating how your body will look in them.

Small, gentle steps to try

These ideas won’t replace the deeper work that therapy can offer, but they can be a start in loosening body checking’s grip:

1. Notice it without judgement
   
   Keep a tally for a single day, every mirror, reflection, or pinch. Not to shame yourself, but to see the pattern clearly. Awareness is the first step toward change.

   You might be surprised by how often you check your body without realising it. This awareness alone can be powerful in beginning to break the cycle.
   
   

2. Change your environment
   
   If there’s a particular mirror you linger in front of, try covering it for a day, or moving it somewhere less tempting.
   
   

3. Check for comfort, not appearance
   
   Before leaving the house, ask:

   “Do my clothes feel comfortable? “

   “Can I move freely?”

   Let comfort be your measure, not the mirror.
   
   

4. Redirect your focus
   
   When you catch yourself about to check, try shifting attention to something sensory

   Feeling your feet on the floor.

   Noticing three things you can see, hear, and touch in that moment.
   
   

5. Practice body-neutral affirmations
   
   Instead of “I look good/bad today”, try focusing on what your body allows you to do:

   “This body allows me to walk the dog.”

   “This body allows me to hug my loved ones.”

   “This body allows me to stretch in the morning sun.”

   “This body allows me to dance to my favourite music.”
   
   

If you’re feeling stuck

Body checking isn’t a sign of vanity, it’s often a learned coping strategy, shaped by past experiences, cultural pressures, and deep fears about worth and belonging.

It can be unlearned, but it often takes support to do so in a safe and sustainable way.

If you’re finding that checking takes up more of your headspace than you’d like, or that it’s affecting your self-worth, you don’t have to work through it alone.

I currently have space for new clients, both in-person and online. We can work together to understand the roots of these patterns and help you feel more at peace in your own skin.

Contact me here